So on my last Sunday in Sioux Center, I spent a few hours with some pretty amazing high schoolers. :)
God's been teaching me so MUCH through them over the past few years, and as I anticipated leaving Dordt, one of the most difficult parts about it was saying goodbye to those beautiful kids. Being an adult sponsor at Christ Community youth group has been one of the best experiences in my college career.
I got asked countless times (in jest) why I was leaving by a few of the girls. And every time, I actually reconsidered it just a little bit. My mind was saying things like this: WHY am I leaving behind these people that I've poured my life into? It'd be so great to stay here and continue to love on the Christ Community youth group. What about my friends? I want to be in their lives forever too. And it'd be so much easier to stay here. I KNOW what that would look like. And there are people that I just met that I want to know so much better, and... and..
The list was pretty endless.
But the thing about God's timing is that it's perfect.
One summer, I made a friend that I knew I would probably never see again. "But, GOD.." I said, "She understands me so well, and she challenges me in my faith, and refreshes me... why can't I just hang on to this friendship?"
She answered that question for me. As we were talking, I suggested staying in touch. What she said to me stuck in my head for a while.
"Mary," she said, "sometimes, God just gives us a certain person for a certain season of life. That's ok. He provided you for this season, and that's just what I needed. And He'll give us who we need for the next season as well. "
In her beautifully simple words, she had spoken what I clearly needed to hear in that moment. She still holds a special place in my heart... but that was a passing moment. As the prophet in Ecclesiastes said, there is a time for everything under the sun.
...there is a time to leave?
People keep asking me if I'm nervous for next semester. Thinking about it, I don't think I'm nervous about the newness of the next four months. The more accurate statement might be that I'm nervous about the end of what seems to be a pretty ginormous season of life. I get nervous about leaving places because I'm afraid that the things I've learned and the ways that I've grown will be put on a shelf...it's not even a nice display shelf either. I'm talking about the kind of shelf where dust accumulates, and things get moldy--the kind that becomes home to spiders and stale air.
Yes, author of ecclesiastes, there IS a time for everything. But I don't think this means that God wants us to simply move on from each season of life either. How tragic it would be if the times to mourn or the times to dance were forgotten. If we never changed because of the times for healing or hurting, how would God ever shape us to be more like Him?
Those crazy high schoolers I mentioned earlier have made a permanent change in me. So have friends, and profs, and other people I've met at Dordt. I'm praying that instead of leaving those things on a shelf here at home, God will help me take pieces of those people with me to Uganda. I'm also praying that God gives me an open heart; that as He puts people in my life this coming semester, I'm able to be shaped and affected by their beauty as well.
I'm loving this time of transition right now. But it does feel a bit strange to be hanging in the middle of two seasons of life. How beautiful that we have a God that is the same yesterday, today and forever. It's been pretty awesome seeing evidence for the truth that God's timing is perfect. With so many little details, He's been proving to me over and over that the next four months will be in His control. It's almost time to leave. It's almost time for a new season. Currently, I'm praising God for all of the ups and downs that come with a time of transition.. because He shapes us through every season of our lives.
11 days, and I'll be on that plane. :) Praise God for His perfect timing.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
To the one who goes before me and follows me.
If you're reading this, I should start by saying thank you a million times over. Because chances are, you're reading it because you've played a part in the opportunity I have next semester; through prayer, support, or finances (or ...any combination of all three). I thought to myself at one point in time --self, this blogging thing isn't completely me-- But I've decided since then that anyone who has spent any amount of time, effort, money, prayers, or even thoughts on my destination for the next 4 months deserves to know how about the adventures God has for me and the things He's teaching me.
So, here you are.. an update that I intend to make weekly (GRACE would be greatly appreciated with that promise.. heh...). This is a way to keep you informed on God's work through your prayers, and a way to remind me how faithful God is, when time passes after this experience and the next season of life begins.
So Psalm 139:5 reads, "...you go before me and follow me, you place your hand of blessing on my head." (NLT)
This passage is so well known and has been so stuck in my head for the past few months. At one point in time in my life, the previous verses in this chapter had me weeping over the truth that God loves me SO much that He could know me intimately, and cherish my thoughts, my quirks, my passions, and my desires. God.. the SAVIOR of the world, knows me?!? Me. Every time I sit down and rise. Every hair on my head...YOU knit me? God, and I can't escape from you! Even if I think I'm hiding well from my friends and family, my thoughts and my words can't hide from you. And you still LOVE me.
Then there's this little verse that didn't mean much to me for the longest time.. maybe the Holy Spirit was saving it for a different time (now), who knows...
"you go before me and follow me, you place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand.."
And then all of this, which pertains so beautifully as well
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
Hm. So even in Uganda, God? Your hand will guide me and your strength support me? Yep. Even half way across the world, I couldn't hide from you if I wanted to.
And I guess here is where I fill you in a little bit more.. God has promised to guide me and support me next semester as I do my professional semester in Uganda, and I believe He would have even if I weren't going to Africa to complete my internship. I think (in fact I know) He would have guided me and supported me if I had stayed in Sioux Center. But His knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. So despite the challenges that I've already faced financially, emotionally, and spiritually about the decision to experience the professional world of social work in a different country, I'm resting right now in truth that I have a God that goes before me-- He knows what I'll experience, who I'll meet, where I'll be, and what I'll do... and a God that goes after me-- His hand will be the one I fall back on when I realize how different this place is from home, His hand will be the one I run to when I miss friends and family, and HIS knowledge is the knowledge I'll trust when I know I can't do any of it alone.
And THIS, dear family in Christ, is why I know that the choice to spend my last collegiate semester in Uganda is one that God's been pushing for. I have no idea what to expect, and I want to stay far away from putting God in a box, but I think one of the most reassuring things in this whole process has been God's provision. I don't yet have all the funds I need, but I have enough to know that God's going before me, and behind me. He's promised that, and that makes me more than excited to take him up on his offer. I'm excited to be stretched, and to learn how to lean on God more fully. I'm excited to know beautifully different group of God's people. I'm excited to serve them, and learn about them, and practice social work in a unique setting. I'm beyond excited to listen to God's voice, and love from a place of complete dependence on the one who goes before me and follows me. His knowledge has always been too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. I love it.
P.S. I won't know until I get there where my internship will be... I'm set up with an organization when I arrive. Stay tuned! The next few posts will most likely reveal that information. For now, I'll just tell you that the options include working with orphans, street children, widows, AIDS victims, pregnant teens, and the homeless (among other options). I think any one of those possibilities would make me giggle in excitement.
So, here you are.. an update that I intend to make weekly (GRACE would be greatly appreciated with that promise.. heh...). This is a way to keep you informed on God's work through your prayers, and a way to remind me how faithful God is, when time passes after this experience and the next season of life begins.
So Psalm 139:5 reads, "...you go before me and follow me, you place your hand of blessing on my head." (NLT)
This passage is so well known and has been so stuck in my head for the past few months. At one point in time in my life, the previous verses in this chapter had me weeping over the truth that God loves me SO much that He could know me intimately, and cherish my thoughts, my quirks, my passions, and my desires. God.. the SAVIOR of the world, knows me?!? Me. Every time I sit down and rise. Every hair on my head...YOU knit me? God, and I can't escape from you! Even if I think I'm hiding well from my friends and family, my thoughts and my words can't hide from you. And you still LOVE me.
Then there's this little verse that didn't mean much to me for the longest time.. maybe the Holy Spirit was saving it for a different time (now), who knows...
"you go before me and follow me, you place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand.."
And then all of this, which pertains so beautifully as well
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
Hm. So even in Uganda, God? Your hand will guide me and your strength support me? Yep. Even half way across the world, I couldn't hide from you if I wanted to.
And I guess here is where I fill you in a little bit more.. God has promised to guide me and support me next semester as I do my professional semester in Uganda, and I believe He would have even if I weren't going to Africa to complete my internship. I think (in fact I know) He would have guided me and supported me if I had stayed in Sioux Center. But His knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. So despite the challenges that I've already faced financially, emotionally, and spiritually about the decision to experience the professional world of social work in a different country, I'm resting right now in truth that I have a God that goes before me-- He knows what I'll experience, who I'll meet, where I'll be, and what I'll do... and a God that goes after me-- His hand will be the one I fall back on when I realize how different this place is from home, His hand will be the one I run to when I miss friends and family, and HIS knowledge is the knowledge I'll trust when I know I can't do any of it alone.
And THIS, dear family in Christ, is why I know that the choice to spend my last collegiate semester in Uganda is one that God's been pushing for. I have no idea what to expect, and I want to stay far away from putting God in a box, but I think one of the most reassuring things in this whole process has been God's provision. I don't yet have all the funds I need, but I have enough to know that God's going before me, and behind me. He's promised that, and that makes me more than excited to take him up on his offer. I'm excited to be stretched, and to learn how to lean on God more fully. I'm excited to know beautifully different group of God's people. I'm excited to serve them, and learn about them, and practice social work in a unique setting. I'm beyond excited to listen to God's voice, and love from a place of complete dependence on the one who goes before me and follows me. His knowledge has always been too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. I love it.
P.S. I won't know until I get there where my internship will be... I'm set up with an organization when I arrive. Stay tuned! The next few posts will most likely reveal that information. For now, I'll just tell you that the options include working with orphans, street children, widows, AIDS victims, pregnant teens, and the homeless (among other options). I think any one of those possibilities would make me giggle in excitement.
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